Intro

I have wanted to do this for awhile. This useless thing of writing stuff and letting you have access to it. I have done mistakes when I wanted to do everything right. I‘m not good at anything. That‘s why our friendship failed. I‘m just bad. 

Please don‘t get offended if you ever read this. This is just my side how I feel. By the time you read this, you know, like in few years up to 10 or more or never, I might not be around. I will make sure there won‘t be any trace and you will never know. We are all on the internet and anonymous. 

When we talked for the first time properly, the Big Talk, I was really surprised by you. I was overwhelmed and things moved way too fast. It was just a big switch from bad to good person. There are things that I didn‘t get to say because I didn‘t have the chance to. I wanted to, but we had a fight. So Im going this way and also analyzing, bringing back and while doing so getting over things. 

I dont feel good. Im kinda lost. Im losing my cool. Im so easily irritated. And this is stupid and i might regret it, but who cares. What matters really? Nothing really. Id appreciate it if you dont share this blog with anyone, but if you do, then do as you please bc i dont care

Im done caring bc everything that i care for turns to shit. I tried so hard with you, more than I want to admit, but Im admitting shit now, so its out and has a place to live. The thoughts, should have, could have, would have blabla have been haunting me for such a long time. I could just write them down and leave it be, but I want to share with you. Share even if its useless. 

Bc its so sad when there are things to be said, but they never get said. Just leaving bc it hurts/upsets so much. I dont want this. I dont want to keep hurting myself with this. And I know I have no access to your attention. It‘s over. It‘s just..I have done this before. It hurt like hell in the end. So this is a new approach.

It will be a lot and I try to make it sound as entertaining as possible. I dont know how it goes. I wont let you, the reader, misunderstand me. It will be in topics, a mess, up and down whatever. Whatever it is, I will give it meaning.