When you told me about this, I got sad and didnt know what to say. I mean I knew my opinion, but wasnt sure how to say it without risking that you would look at me in a bad light. Bc the truth is ugly. I was afraid that you would think badly of me. I hate saying ugly things.
I want to say nice things and act as if everything is fine.
Nothing is fine. Pls dont judge me. I mean ugh you think im the worst, cant get any worse xD
People are shit. They are shallow, selfish and weak. Deep inside I know it, but i kept making excuses why, like they dont want to feel bad, they have their reasons, they have their faults.
I always looked at people in a better light to be able to tolerate them. I stop with that now. I shouldnt make up excuses when nobody would go easy on me. People have treated me like shit and I just took it.
Anyway back to the topic. You told me about two women who were willing to leave their husbands for you. You were shocked. Back then I didnt tell you my take bc i was in a project and didnt want to talk about it bc there were people around. I didnt want them to hear me. Some who passed looked weird when they heard me say stuff to you. Also, like I said, it made me sad. I felt sorry that you had to experience this. Nobody should to be put in a situation like this. Overall it’s not a big deal, but somehow it hurts that people would cheat. If you are unhappy, then just be honest and leave the relationship. You shouldn’t stay and when the opportunity arises, hop into another. But people do that…
Here is an example that I have experienced. There was some girl. Yeah was some project somewhere shut up. I experienced her cheating and I was so mad. It started with idiot guy saying “out of everybody here, you are the most beautiful” my mind said “thanks brah” then later on they started cuddling. She noticed our gazes and said “dont worry guys. I like cuddling. I like cuddling with you, too. Its just he is a man. I like man’s body” we knew she had a boyfriend and the atmosphere turned weird. I was so mad inside, but said nothing. I was waiting for her to say something. Ofc they started kissing in front of us. I just saw red. I talked to the others to hear what they thought. They said “well their business. Why do you care? It got nothing to do with you” I felt so lonely in that situation, everybody knew it was wrong, but nobody cared. Nobody saw it was fucking WRONG. I even cried when i was outside walking alone. I wondered why couldnt they resist. She had a bf and he still went for her. I wondered why. I dont even know who is more at fault. She must have had low self esteem that she let it happen. And he is just a horny jerk with no morals. I couldnt confront them bc i didnt feel i was in my right. I treated them badly. I was just so mad how dare they. Well they didnt bother to confront me and we parted on bad terms. I dont care. Well, Im lying. I wished they confonted me. I didnt want to confront them bc i would have been yelling. I dont want to meet anybody of that project ever again. They were all shit. Other shit happened, too.
This, I havent told this to anybody bc it looks so insignificant, but sometimes it crosses my mind. It grosses me out that I had to watch this.
Women and also men cheat bc theyre trash. Not all cheat. They are rare, but if some people, I dont know how many, have the chance and wouldnt get caught, they do cheat. I dont know why, but i guess bc its fun, excitement and bc they can? People dont want to be good. They want to take advantage of others. They use people. Who knows what it is theyre missing. They wanna keep their safety cushion while going out and having fun. They dont have a conscious. I know and i dont know why people cheat. Something is missing and they seek it in others?
When you said “all women cheat” i wanted to say “thats not true. I dont cheat”
ive been in situations when i had the chance to cheat. I never acted on it. In my mind its not worth it. I know how it is to get cheated on. Its like “what did i do to deserve this” you feel worthless. I get to this later somewhere. I couldnt forgive myself if i ever cheated.
Some guy that i thought i was becoming friends with, one day he hinted “you ‘n’ me why dont we…nobody would know” sth like this. Honestly i dont remember. I was raging inside. I laughed it off and giggled “no thank you” it felt like i just got slapped, but nvm
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